Getting hitched in North Korea

When do Koreans get married?

The average age for women and men to get married in North Korea is 23-26 and 27-30 respectively. Ten years ago, if a woman was 28 years old without a husband, she would be considered to be a spinster. Many Korean women used to get married at 22 years old, right after graduation from college. However, nowadays the age range has extended to 30 or more due to the shift of women’s position in society. Love between young men and women is no different in North Korea. Men and women who are about to get married have dates and the process of getting married is no different from the rest of the world. “Love” marriages are becoming more ubiquitous now in North Korea.

 “Love” marriage or arranged marriage?

Arranged marriage is popular in North Korea. Koreans usually refer to this type of marriage as seon (선). Parents’ love to their offspring are all the same regardless of their nationality, they all hope to find the perfect son-in-law for their daughters. Generally, parents arrange a seon, but it is ultimately up to the couple to decide if they want to marry. However, the parental pre-screening means that the meeting has a much higher chance of success than date marriage. It is rare that a single seon leads to a marriage; many succeed in finding their dream spouse only after dozens of seon meetings with different individuals.

Following the initial meeting, the couple typically date for several months to a year before the actual marriage. The distinction between an arranged marriage and a “love” marriage is therefore often blurred, although in an arranged marriage the families tend to be more closely involved throughout.

What are the criteria for choosing a good partner?

There is always a preferred job a spouse has in any society, North Korea isn’t an exception. The younger generation prefers a handsome spouse, but the job or background is still one of the conditions that cannot be ignored. Before the seon, parents analyze résumé, and select the one with the best conditions for their children among the candidates.

So, what are the criteria?

First: Party member for a man. In North Korea, being a party member is a sign of social identification, it’s an honoured title and respected by the society. It is said that party members should set an example in aspect in the society, but they are also given preferential treatment by the society.

Second: Military service. This is related to the first reason, all discharged soldiers who fill 10 years of military service automatically become a member of the party. Thanks to their military training, those veterans will have a high sense of responsibility for their family, therefore, North Korean parents think they can be their perfect son-in-law.

Third: Educational background.

The Pyongyang wedding tour?

Both parents arrange time and location for the couple to travel around the city with their friends and family, this is photographed and filmed by professional wedding companies. The most popular routes are Moranbong Park, along the Potong river and Pyongyang Grand Theatre but they also take in the monuments to pay respect to the leaders and the party.

Both families exchange wedding gifts at the engagement ceremony. Usually, they exchange the bride’s suit, family suit, and cosmetics for the wedding day.

Houses are allocated by the state, and when both the bride and groom have houses, they can choose to live in the bigger house. It is common for the bride to buy kitchen utensils, furniture, blankets, and pillows for their marriage life, but there are some regional differences. In Pyeongan province and Hwanghae province, usually both the bride and groom buy the pre-nuptials; in Hamgyong province, however, the groom prepares most of the pre-nuptials.

The official part of the marriage is a registration form you have to completed at the local police station. It is possible also the couple will stay with the husband’s parents especially if you are the elder son you (as a married couple) have a duty to look after your parents. Men wear suits or military uniforms and women wear jeogori on their wedding day.

What happens at the wedding party?

Although the methods and procedures of weddings vary depending on the country, ethnicity or religion, the bride and groom hold ceremonies to inform the elders, relatives and friends of both families of marriage and to be blessed.

Recently, wedding culture has significantly changed in North Korea, many wedding restaurants have been built recently in Pyongyang, therefore, they hold the wedding ceremonies in public places like wedding restaurant or hotel, rather than at home.

Weddings are usually held on Sundays and other public holidays. It has become a common custom for guests to sprinkle confetti on the bride and groom at the wedding hall. Guests bring gifts such as rice cookers or things that are useful to make a home or money gifts and leave them for the wedding couple.

The bride and groom, even the close relatives are given three to five days of vacation to help with the wedding. In principle, items are provided at government-wedding stores, but it is common to prepare them in person. The most important food at a wedding is liquor, as they need to vow and toast to their parents after pouring liquor to their cups. Though it is distributed in the country in time for weddings or holidays, but is not enough to be used for weddings, so it is purchased separately. There is lots of singing and toasts and bad jokes made by all the guests, the married couple will toast a drink to each guest at the end of the wedding to thank their presence.

Karaoke is the essential entertainment during the wedding, guests might find themselves holding a mike singing to North Korean pop hits such as “Urban Girl Comes to Get Married” and “Women are Flowers”. The newly wed wraps up the wedding by singing a song together in front of the guests, couples actually prepare weeks ahead for this grand finale.

Watch our short video on North Korean wedding