May 2020
Getting Married in North Korea; Behind the Scenes of A North Korean Wedding
North Korean wedding imagery in linocuts and an exclusive interview with our North Korean colleague on the subject of marriage in North Korea…
‘Urban Girl Comes to the Countryside to Get Married’
Linocut by Jo Yong Chol, 1989, Linocut print, 3 of 9 prints, 51 x 71cm
(Koryo Studio Collection)
The Story Behind the Image
What appears as a simple scene portraying a wintry rural North Korean wedding and a happy couple driving off in a tractor has an interesting back story.
The husband is a local farmer and his new wife moved from the city to live in the countryside to help build a prosperous nation. Love blossoming between city dwellers and farmers was a recurring storyline in North Korean art, particularly in the 1980s.
During this time, the government encouraged the population to revere the simple, collective values of rural society.
Other media repeats this image. For example, the ‘Pochonbo Electronic Ensemble’ recorded a popular song titled ‘Urban Girl Comes to the Countryside to Get Married’. The song inspired an eponymous film, in which a sophisticated urban woman falls in love with the noble sincerity of a young farmer trying to build a model socialist village.
We asked a Pyongyang colleague for her insight into marriage in North Korea from a city girl’s perspective.
Q: When do North Koreans get married?
The average age for women and men to get married in North Korea is 23-26 and 27-30 respectively. Ten years ago, if a woman was 28 years old without a husband, people considered her to be a spinster.
Many Korean women used to get married at 22 years old, right after graduating from college. However, nowadays the age range extends to 30 or more due to the shift in women’s position in society. The love between young men and women is no different in North Korea.
Men and women who are about to get married date together and the process of getting married is no different from the rest of the world.
“Love” marriages are becoming more ubiquitous now in North Korea.
Q: A “Love” marriage or arranged marriage?
Arranged marriage is popular in North Korea. Koreans usually refer to this type of marriage as seon (선).
A parent’s love for their offspring is all the same regardless of their nationality. They all hope to find the perfect son-in-law for their daughters. Generally, parents arrange a seon. But it is ultimately up to the couple to decide if they want to marry.
However, parental pre-screening means that the meeting has a much higher chance of success than a “love” marriage. It is rare that a single seon leads to a marriage. Many succeed in finding their dream spouse only after dozens of seon meetings with different individuals.
Following the initial meeting, the couple typically date for several months to a year before the actual marriage. The distinction between an arranged marriage and a “love” marriage is therefore often blurred, although in an arranged marriage the families tend to be more closely involved throughout.
Korean couple during their Seon on the Taedong riverbank. From the movie “O, Youth!”
Q: What are the criteria for choosing a good partner?
Every society has always a preferred job for a spouse. North Korea isn’t an exception.
The younger generation prefers a handsome spouse, but they also don’t ignore the job or background as an important condition. Before the seon, parents analyze the CV and background and select the one with the best conditions for their children among the candidates.
The Criteria:
First: Party member?
(For a man).
In North Korea, being a party member is a sign of social identification. It’s an honoured title and is respected by society. It is said that party members should set an example in aspect in society. But they are also given preferential treatment in society.
Second: Military service?
This is related to the first reason. All discharged soldiers who fill 10 years of military service automatically become a member of the party. Thanks to their military training, those veterans will have a high sense of responsibility for their families. Therefore, North Korean parents think they can be their perfect son-in-law.
Third: Good education?
Criteria important in any country or society, and North Korea is no exception here, either!
Q: How about the wedding photographs?
Both parents arrange a time and location for the couple to travel around the city with their friends and family. Professional wedding companies then photograph and film this event.
The most popular routes are Moranbong Park, along the Potong River and Pyongyang Grand Theatre. Couples also take photos at the Grand Monuments to pay respect to the leaders and the party.
Couple paying respect to the leaders’ monument on their wedding day.
Q: Are there wedding gifts, too?
Both families exchange wedding gifts at the engagement ceremony.
Usually, they exchange the bride’s suit, family suit, and cosmetics for the wedding day.
Best present for the bride from the groom – “봄향기” (Spring Scent) cosmetic set
Q: How about living together? Does this happen after the wedding?
The state allocates houses. When both the bride and groom have houses, they can choose to live in the bigger house. It is common for the bride to buy kitchen utensils, furniture, blankets, and pillows for their marriage life, but there are some regional differences.
In Pyeongan province and Hwanghae province, usually both the bride and groom buy the pre-nuptials. In Hamgyong province, however, the groom prepares most of the pre-nuptials.
The official part of the marriage is a registration form. Couples complete this at the local police station. It is possible also that the couple will stay with the husband’s parents especially if you are the elder son (as a married couple). Elder sons have a duty to look after their parents.
Q: What do you wear at a North Korean wedding?!
Men wear suits or military uniforms and women wear jeogori on their wedding day.
Q: What happens at a North Korean wedding party?
Although the methods and procedures of weddings vary depending on the country, ethnicity or religion, the bride and groom hold ceremonies to inform the elders, relatives and friends of both families of the marriage. The families thus then bless the marriage.
Recently, wedding culture has significantly changed in North Korea. Many wedding restaurants have been built recently in Pyongyang. Therefore, they hold the wedding ceremonies in public places like wedding restaurants or hotels, rather than at home.
A Korean couple celebrating their wedding in Sonkyong wedding restaurant, Changjon street, Pyongyang.
Q: Any other North Korean wedding traditions?
Weddings are usually held on Sundays and other public holidays.
A common custom is for guests to sprinkle confetti on the bride and groom at the wedding hall. Guests bring gifts such as rice cookers or things that are useful to make a home or money gifts and leave them for the wedding couple.
A Korean couple celebrating their wedding in Sonkyong wedding restaurant, Changjon street, Pyongyang.
Q: Any other North Korean wedding traditions?
The bride and groom and even the close relatives are given three to five days of vacation to help with the wedding.
In principle, government-wedding stores provide items. But it is common to prepare them in person. The most important food at a wedding is liquor, as they need to vow and toast to their parents after pouring liquor into their cups.
The government distributes alcohol in the country in time for weddings or holidays, but it is usually not enough to be used for weddings. So people usually purchase it separately. Guests usually enjoy lots of singing and toasts and bad jokes – and bad dancing! The married couple will toast a drink to each guest at the end of the wedding to thank their presence.
Q: How about the entertainment at a North Korean wedding?!
Karaoke is essential entertainment during the wedding.
Guests might find themselves holding a mike and singing to North Korean pop hits such as “Urban Girl Comes to Get Married” and “Women are Flowers”.
The newlyweds wrap up the wedding by singing a song together in front of the guests. Couples actually prepare weeks ahead for this grand finale.
Watch our short video on North Korean wedding
